


Make Me A Promise Here Tonight

by DeadMilitia



Category: Pierce the Veil
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bullying, Crying, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 11:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11531265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadMilitia/pseuds/DeadMilitia
Summary: Tony made up his mind. He was going to kill himself after the concert. He couldn't take the abuse, bullying, and depression anymore. The blades didn't hurt anymore and suicide seemed to be the answer. Until Mike finds out and makes Tony promise he will continue to live.





	Make Me A Promise Here Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> This deals with self harm, abuse, and suicidal thoughts. If those are triggering to you then please go read something happier. Also, Tony isn't a part of Pierce The Veil in this story.

Tony dragged the blade down his arm again and stared blankly at the blood oozing out. This used to make him feel different things such as sadness, anger, fear, pain, and shame. But none of that came from it anymore. He was emotionless as he dug the blade into himself again. He remembered when he used to barely scratch himself with the blade. At the start he had been too afraid to go deep. Back then he didn't actually want to die. Now he wasn't sure why he was still alive. He liked to believe that some part of him still wanted to live.

He knew what was keeping him alive right now, the ticket hidden under his mattress in an orange envelope. It was a gift from his mom for his birthday. He hadn't even celebrated his birthday. She tried to but he refused to come out of his room. What was so great about surviving another year? It was just another year of medications that his mom hid from him. Another year of bullying. Another year of abuse from his stepdad that his mom pretended to not notice. Another year of therapy visits that he sat through to please his mom. Another year of wishing he wasn't alive.

Pierce The Veil was his favorite band and the reason that he really put himself into guitar. That was the only thing that gave him any kind of joy anymore. He went to guitar lessons once a week and it was the only good thing about his week. His teacher was a guy named Andrew. He made lessons fun and he was laid back and goofy. He was the only person left who could make Tony smile.

Andrew put a lot of work into him. He even made sure Tony had all of the equipment he needed because he saw a lot of potential in him. Tony had made him think that his parents just didn't have the money for equipment when really it was that his stepdad, Walter, refused to spend more money on him. He had thrown a huge fit when Tony asked to get some equipment because they already wasted money on his guitar, amp, and the lessons. Tony wanted to point out that the guitar and amp didn't come from his money but he kept his mouth shut. Tony had saved up what allowence he got and bought them himself. But he knew that Walter would just point out that it was his money that was given to Tony. Which also wasn't true, it came from his mom's paycheck but Walter thought her paycheck belonged to him too.

Tony grabbed a wash cloth and got it wet to clean the drying blood off of his arm. He didn't even wince anymore as he scrubbed the blood off of his arm. His scrubbing re-opened some of the cuts and he put pressure on them until they stopped bleeding. He rolled down the sleeve of his hoodie and threw the bloody wash cloth into the hamper. It wasn't like his mom and Walter didn't know he cut himself. That was why he was in therapy. His mom forced him to go and Walter threw a fit each time, saying that she was just wasting their money because Tony was nothing but a worthless brat. He claimed that Tony was just cutting himself to get attention and she was buying it.

 _Just one more week and then I can do it._ Tony thought to himself as he collapsed on his bed. He knew Walter would be home before his mom and that meant pain for him. He tried not to care anymore. He wouldn't be here much longer so it didn't matter what Walter did to him anymore. He stayed laying on his bed when he heard Walter get home. He didn't want to deal with him but knew he would. Especially if Walter had a bad day. He loved taking it out on Tony. It was Saturday and Tony had already done all of his chores. The house was spotless but he knew it wouldn't be good enough.

What really ticked him off was how his mom would pretend she didn't notice. When she got home she would act like everything was fine no matter what condition Tony was in. He knew it was probably out of fear but he still was angry over it. He felt that she should protect him even if it meant sending him away. He would gladly go live with someone else. He really did love his mom but he was tired of her ignoring all the pain he was in. Her way of dealing with it was dropping him off at therapy and coming back an hour later to pick him up. He still remembered the conversation they had the first day of therapy. She had told him not to mention Walter to the therapist because she was afraid Tony would be taken away from her. Honestly, he thought about telling his therapist everything in the hopes that he would be taken away.

"Get down here, you worthless bitch!" Walter screamed from downstairs but Tony didn't move. He stayed emotionless on the bed and stared at the ceiling. If Walter was dead set on beating him then he could come get him. Tony sighed when he heard Walter demanding he come downstairs. He was in a bad mood which meant it was going to be worse. "That's it, you fucking bastard!" He heard Walter storming up the stairs. He didn't look over at the man when he burst into his room. He knew the look Walter was giving him. He was furious. Walter was an overweight, average height, slightly balding man with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

"I fucking told you to get that fucking stain out of the carpet!" Walter yelled. Tony didn't even look at him which he knew would just make Walter angrier.

"That stain has been there for months. I can't get it out." Tony explained in a monotone voice. He knew no amount of defending himself would help.

"It's your fucking fault it's stained!" Walter yelled storming over to the bed. Tony wanted to scoff. So it was his fault that his stepdad punched him so hard he fell and hit his face on the coffee table? It's his fault that his nose broke on impact and he bled on the floor? If Walter expected an apology he wasn't going to get one.

"You fucking, useless fag!" Walter yelled, grabbing a hold of Tony anywhere he could make contact, he dragged Tony off of the bed. Tony fought back even though he knew it was pointless. Walter let Tony drop to the floor and he stayed the way he fell. Walter always told him to 'take it like a man' which apparently meant letting Walter beat the shit out of him. Tony didn't look up.

Tony tried not to react as Walter began giving him his "punishment." It was stupid that he got beat over something he couldn't fix. Tony couldn't stop the cry that slipped out when Walter kicked him in the back. Tony laid on the floor and covered his face with his arms and pulled his knees to his chest. That didn't stop Walter though. He delivered kick after kick to the cowaring boy. He kicked at Tony's arms causing them to ram into Tony's face.

Tony tried to think of anything else. He had a hard time distracting himself as the assault continued. He was suddenly grabbed and yanked off of the floor. Walter dragged Tony downstairs and threw him on the floor where the blood stain was.

"I don't care if you have to sit there all night, you better get that stain out. If you don't then your punishment is the belt." Tony felt tears in his eyes. He stayed on his hands and knees where he fell. His body was sore and he was sure his arms were bleeding again. If he got the belt -which he was sure he would- he wouldn't be able to move very well for a few days. Walter's beatings with a belt could go on for what felt like ever.

Tony got up and went to get every cleaner he could find and a roll of paper towels. He searched on his phone how to remove set in stains and got to work. He tried everything he could and nothing was removing the stain. It had been there for months and he was convinced that the only way it was coming out was to re-dye the carpet which he couldn't do. He tried to fight back the tears as they slid out. He didn't want that bastard to make him cry. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to him.

Just a few more days and it was all over. He thought about refusing to work at this stain anymore and just taking whatever punishment the man in the kitchen would dish out. It didn't matter what that man did to him because he would be gone soon enough. He decided that he was going to do it after he got home from the concert. The concert was the only thing keeping him alive right now so there was no point in living past that. After he got home he would do it.

"Tony, what are you doing?" His mom asked. He hadn't even noticed her come in. He was too lost in his thoughts. When he looked up he saw that it was his mom and her best friend. He used the back of his hand to wipe the tears away and sniffled.

"W-Walter told me to get this stain out." He explained, sniffling again.

"Honey, that stain has been there for months. It's not going to come out." She looked towards the kitchen. "I'll talk to him, okay?" His mom then got up and went to the kitchen while Melany stayed with Tony. She looked from him to the kitchen doorway. She went over and got on her knees in front of Tony. She took his hands gently and made him stop scrubbing at the floor.

"She's right, sweetie, it's not coming out." Melany said softly. Melany had been his mom's best friend since high school and she helped raise Tony after his dad died. Tony knew that Melany wasn't a fan of Walter but she didn't know anything that happened at the house with Tony. Walter was always the polite stepdad of the year when other people were around. Tony hated it because his mom never said anything. She just let Walter pretend like the bruises and cuts were from bullies at school and that he really cared for Tony.

"What happened to your hands?" She asked, inspecting them. He pulled his hands away and stared at the floor.

"Nothing," he mumbled, trying to hide them. They were bruised up and bloody from Walter repeatedly kicking them.

"Tony," she looked up at the kitchen door way where Walter and his mom's voices were rising. Walter obviously didn't know Melany was here or he didn't care. Melany's voice lowered when she continued talking. "Tony, if Walter is hurting you, you can tell me. You can't let him treat you this way. There is no reason to be afraid to tell me because I promise I won't let him hurt you. You can come live with me if you need to."

Tony sat there and played with the hem of his shirt while thinking about it. If he told Melany and she let him come live with her then he would get away from Walter. But he was too scared. Not just of Walter but of everything. He was afraid of what Walter would do to his mom if he told and left. He was afraid of the bullies. He was afraid of what his mom would say. He was afraid of Melany trying to "fix him." He was just afraid of everything. He didn't want to live anymore because he didn't know how to live without misery and harm. He was honestly afraid to get better because he didn't know what it felt like to be fine.

"I'm okay, Melany," Tony lied. His voice was quiet and sad. He didn't want to lie because he felt like this was his one chance to save himself. But he didn't feel like he wanted to be saved. He would rather just end his life.

\-----------------

**Night of The Concert:**

Tony felt happier than he had in years. He was currently smashed between a group of people at the front by the stage. They were all jumping around and singing the words. Tony had no desire to get into the most pits where people were getting hurt. He was hurt enough at home he didn't need to get beat up at the one place he felt the safest. When the song ended everyone cheered. Tony was sad that the night was nearing an end. He didn't want to go home. He wanted to stay here with Pierce The Veil and the other fans. He was sure several of these people were going through the same thing as him. Even though he didn't know their stories and they didn't know his, he felt like he belonged among them. He felt welcomed here.

"This next song is very personal to me. I'm sure most of you know the story behind "Bulls In The Bronx." If you don't, I wrote it after receiving an email from some people whose friend committed suicide. They including a link to her tumblr where she posted about hating herself and wanting to die. I was in her shoes once." Vic explained, holding up his arms. "You can't see them right now but I have scars on my arms the same as many of you probably do. But I made it out and you can too. Look around you right now. So many people here are going through the same thing as you. So not only are we here for you but so are so many of these people around you." Tony looked around the room to see several people wiping at their eyes already. He knew that this band meant a lot to people like him.

"So if you're in a bad place I want you to fucking fight as hard as you fucking can! There is nothing in this world worth harming yourself over. I know it seems hypocritical of me to stand here and say that but it's true. I harmed myself for years and I wish I had realized back then that it wasn't worth it. It wasn't solving anything. And if you're feeling suicidal, please hang on. Please reach out and get help. It doesn't have to be from a therapist, reach out to family, friends, teachers, strangers online. Reach out to anybody you trust and who will listen." Tony felt his heart racing because Vic walked to the side of the stage he was on and for a moment their eyes met.

"For all I know, some of you out there might already have your suicide planned. These next three songs are dedicated to you. I don't know you and I don't know your story. I don't know why you're having these thoughts but if you could, please just keep fighting." Vic motioned to the others on stage and they went into "Bulls In The Bronx." It was followed by "Hold On Til May" and "Props  & Mayhem." Tony couldn't hold back the tears as the songs played.

Tony was sad that the last song was playing. He had passes to meet the band after the show and he was beyond excited. Vic, Mike, and Jaime were the three people he looked up to the most in the world. He would be lying if he said he didn't have a crush on the drummer, Mike. For some reason he felt the desire to tell them his plans. Maybe they would listen and care. Maybe they would be the ones to save him. It was different talking to them because they had their own problems and had been through so much. Melany and his Mom didn't understand what he was feeling and he didn't want to explain it to them.

Tony had waited in line for a long time. As he watched the other people around him crying, cheering, laughing, and smiling he felt like he was the odd one out. He was excited to be meeting them. This was the happiest he had been in a long time. But he couldn't express it. He had spent so long being emotionless and feeling dead that he didn't know how to express emotion anymore. The main thing he was feeling was nervousness. He had already made up his mind that he was going to tell them as a last ditch effort to save himself. A part of him wanted to be saved but he wasn't sure what for.

When it came to his turn to go up, he froze up. He wanted to tell them and he knew he had a limited time to do it. When he got to Mike who was last in the line, the words just flooded out of him. Vic and Jaime listened as Tony spilled everything to Mike. All of the abuse, the bullying, the cutting, how he lost his dad, everything. Then he got to the hardest one. His plans for when he gets home.

"And I just can't do this anymore. I can't take it. I just want to die and nothing I do has changed that. I decided two weeks ago that I was going to kill myself after this concert. Then Walter beat me and threatened me and I decided not to wait. I decided that I'm going to kill myself tonight after I leave here. There's a part of me that wants to live but I can't do it anymore. No matter how terrified I am and how much I still want to live, I know that as soon as I leave here I'll follow through with my plans." Tony was sobbing by the time he was done. All three band members had gathered around him, remaining close. Vic and Mike had a hand on him and the three of them were fighting their own tears.

"Listen to me, okay?" Mike said, glancing over to see the security guard telling them to wrap it up. Mike sighed and looked over at the other guys and then one of the security guards. "Come with me for a moment." Mike kept a gentle hold on Mike's arm as he led him over to a group of workers.

"I want to talk to you okay? Please don't leave because we really need to talk. I'm going to have you hang out here with these guys and as soon as we're done with all of these people I will come over and talk to you. Can you please wait on me?" Mike asked and Tony nodded. He was honestly shocked. He had expected them to just tell him how important he was and how suicide wasn't the answer and then be sent home. He didn't expect Mike to pull him aside. He sat in the seat Mike motioned him to before the taller man raced back to the line before the person after Tony could walk away. He hugged her and signed her stuff before she left.

Tony watched as person after person left. Some cried and were telling their stories, others were laughing with the guys. Tony honestly enjoyed sitting back and watching them interact with fans. He was nervous because he didn't know what Mike was going to say to him. Would it just be the two of them? Or would Vic and Jaime join them too? Would he leave here with his plans still intact? Or would this change his mind?

Tony bounced his knee as the guys finished up. Mike came over with a smile on his lips and offered a hand to Tony who took it with a shaking hand. Mike led him to a quiet area where they could sit and talk. Mike moved two chairs so they were facing each other.

"Okay, I've been thinking over everything you told me and I don't know what to tell you other than the typical things everyone says. First off, what's your name?"

"T-Tony," he mumbled, keeping his eyes down. He felt nervous because now Mike was upclose to him.

"Alright, Tony, I don't know you but I can tell that you're worth so much more than this. You deserve so much better than this. It's obvious that you have a great heart and you're scared. I know you feel that suicide is the only way to get out of this situation but it's not. I can't say that things will get better soon because I don't know. But I can promise that they will get better eventually. Look at Vic, I almost lost him because he was so far gone at one point. But things got better and now he's happier than ever. It took years for things to get better but they did.

"Tony, what do I have to do to get you to stay alive? I don't want you to leave here and go through with it anyway. I want to be able to sleep tonight knowing that you're going to make it. I want to leave here knowing for a fact that you're going to be alive every day after this. I want to know that you won't kill yourself. Can you promise me that you won't do it?" Tony thought it over before shaking his head.

"I can't promise you that, Mike. I don't know if I'll make it." Tony answered honestly. Mike sighed and reached out to take Tony's hands.

"Look at me," Mike said softly. Tony looked up and met eyes with Mike. "I'm not leaving here until you promise me that you won't kill yourself. I don't care if we have to sit here the rest of the night. I don't care if I miss the show tomorrow night. One of the other drummers can take over in my place. I am not leaving here until you make a promise to me to live. I'm going to sit here and tell you over and over how worthy and wonderful you are. I will not let you leave here with plans to kill yourself. So we're going to sit here as long as it takes." Mike said seriously.

Mike kept his word. They sat and talked for a long time. Tony ended up breaking down into tears as they talked. Mike had his arms around Tony as the teen cried into his shoulder he softly told him how wonderful he was and how much he deserved to live. He practically begged Tony to keep living. Mike rubbed Tony's back as he cried. Tony had so much pent up emotions that it was nice to let it all out. He sobbed into Mike's shirt and listened to the words Mike was whispering to him.

"Tony, I'll do whatever you need me to. If that's calling the police on Walter, I'll do it. If it's setting up a way for you to contact me so I can help you keep your promise, I'll do it. I want you to be safe. So please, Tony, make me a promise right here that you will continue to live." Tony sobbed into Mike's shoulder for a few more moments. Mike stayed silent the whole time. He wanted to give Tony time to really think about it and decide what he wanted to do. If he said he couldn't then Mike was going to start all over. He was determined to get Tony to promise him to live and to keep that promise. Then Tony did what Mike had been waiting for, he nodded his head yes. Mike pulled back and sat in front of Tony with a smile.

"I want you to make me a promise here tonight that you will not take your own life. I want you to promise me that you will keep living no matter what. I know things are hard at home but you can leave that situation in a couple of years. All you have to do is survive the next two years and then you'll be eighteen. You don't have to live this way for the rest of your life, Tony. So can you promise me to live?" Mike asked, searching Tony's eyes.

"I-I promise to live," Tony said, sniffling. The second the words left his mouth he was wrapped back up in Mike's arms. Mike was smiling widely and telling Tony how proud he was of him.

"I'm going to give you a way to contact me and I'm going to hold you to your promise. I want you to contact me whenever you need me. I might not always reply right away because of the band stuff but I promise I will reply the second I can." Mike said, leaving to grab a piece of paper and scribbling something down on it before handing it to Tony. "Write your contact information down too." Tony did as he was told and handed the other paper to Mike.

"Mike?" The older man hummed to say he was listening. "I'm afraid to go home." Tony confessed. Walter would find a reason to beat him. It would probably be because of him being late. He was supposed to go home right after the concert and it had been long past that.

"Tony, if you need me to, I'll help you report him." Tony shook his head no.

"I can't report him. He'd kill me," Tony said, realizing how ironic it was that he was afraid of Walter killing him.

"Is there anyone you could stay with? I think it might be best for you to get out of the house." Mike explained and Tony thought about it before nodding.

"My godmother. She asked if Walter was hurting me and told me that I could live with her if I needed to. She still doesn't know the truth." Tony told him.

"Can you call her now? I want you to arrange this before you have the chance to change your mind. Also, I would like it if you didn't go back to the house alone. I'm afraid he would hurt you and force you to stay there. You need to go somewhere safe." Mike told him. Tony nodded and took out his phone to dial Melany's number. He checked the time and knew that she was in bed but he also knew that she would pick up.

"Tony? Is everything okay?" Melany asked, sounding sleepy.

"M-Melany," Tony didn't know what to say. He looked at Mike who nodded for him to tell her. "Y-You were right. Walter hurts me, a lot. I'm so tired of it and I need help. Can I please stay with you? I can't do it anymore. I... I actually was going to end my life tonight but I got some help and I need out of this situation." Tony wiped away the falling tears. He heard shuffling on the other line and knew Melany was getting up.

"Where are you, sweetie? I'm coming to get you." Melany said.

"Um, I'm still at the concert." Tony told her. He had told her about the concert and where it was.

"Alright, that's about thirty minutes. Just hang out there and I'll be there shortly." Melany said. "I love you, honey." She said and he said it back before they hung up. He told Mike that she was on her way and he said that he would stay with him until she got there to pick him up. Tony was still scared of what the future would hold. He was scared that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise. He didn't know if he was ready for whatever Melany was going to try to make him better. 

He was scared but he was also hopeful.

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for this oneshot came from a story from the lead singer of Disciple. You might know who Disciple is and if not that's okay. A couple of years ago Disciple started #ipromisetolive. This came from a person going through their meet and greet line and telling them that they were going to kill themselves. The lead singer, Kevin Young, asked this person to wait around until they got through everyone in the meet and greet. He then took them to a private area and talked to them. He told them that he didn't care if he missed the next show but he was not leaving them until they could honestly promise to keep living. He told them that he was going to stay there for as long as it took. And he did. He stayed through all of the crying and refusing to promise. He stayed and talked to this person until they promised to live. He gave them a way to get help if they needed it and he stayed in contact with them. He wanted people to understand that they aren't just fans to him. When he says that each person matters he means it. They were late for their next show because he stayed with this one person. One person out of thousands. He explained how that one life was more important to him than anything else at that point. It sucks that it's so hard for bands to really show that each of us matter to them but when one steps out of their way, makes their own band late for a show, and spends hours trying to convince just one person that they are worthy of life and love I think it's a great show of love.


End file.
